Short Film.

Ext. A warm but cloudy summer day. London. 2011
A man and a woman are walking hand in hand. The man is wearing shorts, trainers, a Justin Bieber tshirt and a camera around his neck (ok so maybe one of those things is a lie). The woman is wearing abnormally high waisted shorts, a crop top, waistcoat and nude platfortms.

MAN

(strong northen accent)

Shall we take some photos here? For your blog?

WOMAN

(thinks about it)

Are my shorts not too short?

As every lovely boyfriend and hardcore belieber knows (one of those things is not true), when a girlfriend is paranoid about the shortness of a garment, fatness, greekness of eyebrows etc, just tell her she's crazy. 

MAN

you're crazy

As every FANTASTIC (ok possibly, ever so slightly, pain in the arse) girlfriend knows, when bombarding him with insecurities, a nice boyfriend will call her crazy to make her fee better. 

WOMAN

you're just saying that to make me feel better.

MAN

No

Woman

Yes

In a strange and rare twist of events, the man wins and pictures are set to be taken. 

MAN

Stand there

The woman walks 'there'

MAN

Now, pose

WOMAN

The man laughs and shakes his head. 

MAN

Can we try a little less 80s cop and a little more girl?

WOMAN

you got it

The man, dedicated Manchester United fan, talented photographer and Bieber Fever suferer (you get the pattern by now, one of the above is a lie) decides to give up for now and take some photos of the womans crotch/breasts instead (perv!)

The man contemplates asking the woman to pose for a few more pictures but realises it would be in vain. That's when he remembers. He looks in his bag, in there, other than a Justin Bieber poster, two copies of Baby(baby,baby oh!) and a manchester united pen (now how many of THOSE are a lie?hmmmm), he finds a book about hypnotism. 

MAN

Eureka!

WOMAN

Actually, it's pronounced EVREEKA

The man ignores the woman's 'the Greeks invented everything' speech. He steals her necklace. He dangles it in front of her face. 

MAN

Repeat after me.

WOMAN

Repeat after me. 
MAN
No,not yet.
WOMAN
No,not yet.

The man sighs, but continues

MAN

I will never again pose like an 80s cop or a dog chasing its tail.

WOMAN

I will never again pose like an 8os cop or a dog chasing its tail.

MAN

I will, instead, pose like a model and/or Selena Gomez

WOMAN

MAN

and when I take jumping pictures, I will no longer look like a constipated turtle but will smile instead. 

WOMAN

And they lived happily ever after.

The end.

(ok, so MAYBE, some of these events did not happen in real life)

top: asos

shorts: topshop

shoes:asos

necklace: h&m

waistcoat: vintage.