Stylised Monologue

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

The stylish guide to feeling poor but loved

Listen, I know I have been fairly absent lately but to be honest, I couldn't really bring myself to blog about clothes with everything kicking off back home. I'd sit in front of my computer, log onto blogger, write a couple of words, log onto facebook, look at my news feed full of new aggravated statuses, click onto forums, news sites, ring my parents, hear more and more worrying stuff, go back to blogger and log off, completely unable to write about clothes and fashion and jokes. Then I thought about it a bit longer and realized that what I have always tried to do, is use this blog as a tool for entertainment. Yes, I showcase clothes, but if you've taken a moment to read the writing, you'll see that usually the clothes serve as a conversation stimulator. I have, despite being employed and in London, never been rich enough to afford splashing out on ACNE shoes and DANNIJO jewellery at any given moment (don't get me wrong, If I could, I would! I just can't ...yet!). So, I thought about it a bit more and I met people who told me they read my blog and it made them laugh and although I found it (amazing) bizarre that people knew me, I was reminded that what I do best is laugh through an awkward situation and a sad one too. So, the same way my friend Natasha and I laughed (and cried, but mostly laughed) in the end of 2008 over simultaneously having been dumped, the same way we'll laugh (and worry, but also laugh) in the end of 2011 when our whole country seems to be on the edge of being dumped. (INSIDE JOKE ALERT: Nat, we laughed with Οι χωρισμένοι δεν γιορτάζουνε ποτέ. We'll laugh with Οι χωρίςmoney δεν γιορτάζουνε ποτέ). What everyone says, and although cliche, I think they're right, is that when you're going through tough times, the thing that matters the most is the people you're surrounding yourself with and the memories you create with them. I recently spent £2.60 on a trip to IKEA with the wonderful Anthony Hett and let me tell you, it wasn't just fun but also fashion bargain filled.

The stylish guide to feeling poor but loved. 

First and foremost, in order to enjoy this post, I believe you should be listening to THIS:
(I mean, come on! Money related, in Greece by a Swedish band... I wonder if its destiny has always been to accompany this post?!) OK? Lets go.

  • If you've done your fashion research, you'll know well how important HATS are to budding fashionistas. I mean, they're great! They cover your bad hair days, they look stylish, they add a certain je ne sais quoi to every look. All Bloggers love their head accessories, take a look at Garance Dore's hat story, as well as the beautiful Nadia's of State of Grace and well... mine too. I know, I know, we can't all afford Gucci and often we can't even afford New Look or Topshop. That's what I'm here for. In this imaginary collaboration that I am creatively going to name Stylised Dialogue x IKEA, we have come up with the perfect HAT solution. The plant pot! Ta-daaaa! 

Why is this so brilliant? Well, for one, it undoubtedly looks good. Also, it can be worn as shown above, resembling a Fez (kind of un-pc thematic, what with Greece being the epicentre of this post and you know, people associating Greece with Turkey due to past beef) or it can be worn upside down and given the right amount of seeds, dirt, water and whatever other gardening essentials, you can pretty much have a masterpiece a la Sarah Jessica Parker circa: Sex and the City 1 (yes, I have a picture, I do everything for you). Problem solved, once again, you're welcome!

  • Numero DUO in the fashion trends front. FUR. Love it or hate it, it's all around us, decorating the necklines of all the nicest coats of the season. Have a look at Topshop alone: Here , Here and my personal favourite and possible kidney selling reason Here. What do you do, if you don't have £100 and/ or two healthy kidneys? Well... Stylised Dialogue x IKEA comes to the rescue once again. VOILA: 

The resemblance is uncanny, no? Only difference is, that with the two puppies around the £1.20 price mark, you can now, not starve to death! YOU'RE WELCOME!

  • In a non - fashion related note. (Stylised Dialogue x IKEA is not ONLY for fashionistas, it's for poor people in general) Are you a nature lover? Do you get a kick out of climbing the highest mountains and resting on the peaks? Do heights give you a pleasant adrenaline rush? You're WEIRD You're in LUCK! You might not be able to afford the real mountain holiday deal but who cares when you have a variety of lovely shelves to climb onto? 

As for the wild life aspect? YES, THAT'S RIGHT! We've sorted that TOO!! 

(Open to your own interpretation, but it WAS meant to be an owl) 

  • Last but not least, TRANSPORTATION. Buses are expensive, the tube is insane, trains are often taking the piss as are planes and have you seen the prices of petrol these days? Boats and ferries take for.ever and bikes are dangerous. Stylised Dialogue x IKEA has the answer yet again. THE TROLLEY!!!!

(This photo is the financial crisis equivalent to a hot chick in a bikini in the middle of a californian highway on the bonnet of a big, shiny old american car). 

I can hear you car obsessed cynics, disagreeing with this vehicle and screaming silently 'But, HOW SLOW would that go!!!!' Unbelievable! People are just never happy with anything these days. You guys make me so angry that you're forcing me to abandon my writing beliefs and jump onto the cliche bandwagon that keeps saying that a photo is a thousand words. THIS is how fast a trolley goes: 

Can you even see me? NO! I'm going at the speed of light!!! THERE!! 

So there you go! Everything you ever need in under a fiver! Accessories, excursions, vehicles and great memories of a good time. 

For the last time today, keep your chin up and YOU'RE WELCOME! x

Saturday, 5 November 2011


...If I was Ricky Gervais, I'd sent Karl Pilkington to see you!!
I LOVE YOU. Happy Anniversary!
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x