Stylised Monologue

Thursday, 19 January 2012


You know how sometimes there is one coat that you really trully can't live without and a pair of shoes without which your feet are sad and your outfits are incomplete and then there are also some studded denim cut offs that you don't want, you need but even they would feel lonely without that perfect necklace that was really made just for you. Now, this doesn't happen very often if you live in London and are earning little but sometimes, call it fate, call it a miracle or just call it Christmas and be realistic, all these things might land in your very own wardrobe. With the giddiness of a school girl (why are school girls supposed to be giddy, I don't get it? when I was a schoolgirl, I was mostly tired and grumpy and confused by algebra) you chuck them all on, together, feeling like your life is complete.

All of a sudden, what used to be a 5'6 harmless person transforms into a fearless giant (those Litas are taller than they look) armed with a camel toe, camels would envy and an arse spikier than the most dangerous of sea urchin.

So you wear this outfit and you're feeling pretty good. And then you wear it again, and again, and again and then one day you realise...

That, actually, you look like a prostitute.

(yeah, this is my prostitute face...) 



picture was taken after my anticlimactic realisation which probably explained the pained expression on my face. 

Tuesday, 17 January 2012


An ode to ACNE

For Years I Tried To Fight You
Off My Oily Teenage Skin
But Since These Shoes
Have Been Released
They’re My Day’s And Night’s Wet Dream.

Love, Daphne.

I have always sucked at poetry, even my endless love for gorgeous acne shoes can’t help me with that.  

Monday, 16 January 2012

DRESS TOP. Tee Em (trademarked, duh!!)

Chances are, if you live in the western world, you spent the last month getting involved in a plethora of food/alcohol debauchery situations. This, will most probably have lead to one or both of these scenarios. 1) The uneven calorie to exercise ratio has lead to a permanent food bump causing your body conscious dresses to resemble the glutenous material containing the pork meat and turning it into a sausage (ahhh now, that's not a nice image/description is it? I should, in the future, aim for something more pleasing on the brain eye - totally 'a thing'). Or 2) (yeah of course I can start a sentence with 'or', I am my own editor plus artistic license, don't be stuck up) you were exposed to a champagne caused uneven sensibility to lowered inhibitions scenario that has left you with an actual growing foetus baby bump (this requires more than uneven ratio situations, this also requires a complete lack of brain cells people, what about the diseases? huh? yeah I am a kill joy and I'll preach. Do you know that the percentages for HIV are increasing again, especially amongst us ladies? - of course this little rant is aimed at people who were being stupid, if you actually wanted a baby - congrats, woop woop etc...) Aaaaaaanyway. To the point, if your NY resolution was NOT to go t-total or live on spinach and you are therefore still sporting that extra half a stone (or, like, I don't know, pea sized baby) I have the perfect solution for you. One, that doesn't include lung activity eliminating spanx. Everyone do a victory dance!
Voila the dress top (totes coined that term, yeahhhhhh!! -I know it's crap, I can't be creative ALL the time, I got shit to do) 

Look how frillyyyyyyy. Perfecto, non?! The seam is high enough to hide your entire stomach and muffin top. 

plus, if you choose one that is made out of a heavy rubbery-like material, like the one I'm wearing, it won't stick on you as you walk down the street/become the victim of that obnoxious type of wind that turns your clothes against you and makes them cling onto your body (which usually gets in your way when you're wearing silk. Silk is, in fact, the least loyal of materials. If you appear floaty and flimsy stay that way, you two faced exposing whore of a fabric.) So, if you wear heavy, rubbery fabrics, it just won't be windy in some sort of Murphy's law kind of way. Are you following this logic? no? well done, you're normal. 

See, you can twirl in it. And it still doesn't stick on you. My only advice would be, because of the way it's cut, it would be wiser for you to pair it with slimming, elongating garments / shoe wear, or you might become the F word. Frumpy. So, opt for a pencil skirt, skinny jeans, cigarette trousers,  high heels, leather trousers, pointy shoes. You get the gist... 

Garments sold separately, pop up colours not included in the packet. (this is not particularly comprehensible or funny to you, I'm sure. I overdosed on American 80's toys adverts on youtube today and found their vocalising of the 'small print' hilarious.  Probably just me. ) My other stylistic advice would be don't be a moron like me, and wear it with a coat, it's friggin' January and yes I said friggin' that's how much I mean it!!!  example, below:

So, to sum up: Baby/Food Bump Coverage: Check! Angry American Sex Ed/Any Parent Unprotected Sex Rant: Check! Slimline Pairing To Avoid Contradicting The Purpose of The Top: Check! Don't Be A Moron And Wear A Coat Disclaimer: Check! Yeah.  All done. It's been educational. Right, now that we sorted all that out...


OH! p.s before you send out babygrows and cribs my way (as if you would, you tight lot!) let me clarify that I am in no way pregnant and the only thing that is currently and will be for the foreseeable future (a few years,thank you very much) growing in my belly is an aversion towards Richard Gere. (get it? he makes me sick). 

top: h&m
trousers: topshop
shoes: river island
clutch: asos
sunglasses: zara

Sunday, 8 January 2012


Having been born at the very end of 1987, I spent my early 90's learning about life's essentials. How to walk, talk, eat and appreciate the Rolling Stones. My days were generally spent in a variety of baby clothes that sometimes had me looking like a little pig with vertical striped cream trousers and other times like the unwashed baby of a rock star.

As you can see, this is very early 90s, it still has some remnants from the 80s. Whereas this:

Is clearly finally on board with the trademark of 90s fashion: SIMPLICITY.

The rest of the 90s saw me progressing from frilly floral princess dresses and glitter ballet flats to leggings under my dad's mick Jagger's t-shirts and yellow timberland boots that everyone had to have, to jeans and tops with Velcro trainers to trainers with curly laces to trainers with laces too cool to be tied up (laces could be a post of their own). The biggest part of the late 90s, I can hardly remember what I was wearing because most outfits were covered by a big triple offence/brilliance jacket that my parents brought back for me after visiting New York. It was black patent, puffa and covered in glitter. Oh Yeah!! (these, by the way, are the same parents who wouldn't buy me light up trainers because they were and I quote 'too kitch'. What The Face!). I do remember however, my party outfit when I was 11. You know, when all the girls started wearing dresses at parties and all the boys wore lynx (called axe in Greece) and too much gel in their hair and we danced to slow songs. I always wore a very simple beige spaghetti strap dress and black suede pumps. I wore that dress and those shoes to every single party I went to for a whole year. So un-fashionista of me haha!

So despite my last bit of straight, simple and beige that could somehow be slightly 90s looking, I have to say the fashion of that decade and I didn't really meet. Versace's safety pins, Calvin Klein's simplicity, Kate Moss were all words absent from my vocabulary that I was too busy filling with the acoustic memorising of 'Macarena'. Granted, I did love the Spice Girls but I never owned platform shoes and the only thing Calvin Klein I was aware of was a beginners bra my mum chose for me which I religiously stuffed with loo roll and the occasional shoulder padding I had ripped off from old blazers like in any cliche film about teenage girls crying at their lack of lady lumps north of their bellybutton. I did however earn a Linda Evangelista haircut but it was more nit and less fashion related. Sad Face.

Linda Evangelista, Super Model.

Daphne Economou, Super Itchy.

So now, in the usual fashion that has everyone yearning for the trends of approximately two decades ago, I see 90s influences popping up everywhere around me. And I decided to give it a go, in a Peter Pan/Michael Jackson syndrome moment, I felt like I needed to go back to my childhood (minus the nits) but on the fashionable side of it.

I'm sure Jennifer Aniston had jeans like these. And sunglasses like the ones below too. Maybe I'm just channelling Jennifer Aniston.

Remember in the 90s, when banana phones were all the range?!

yeah, ok, I made that up.

JUMP!! x

top/trousers/bracelets: h&m
lipstick: mac
sunglasses: courtesy of rodis (without him knowing ...oops!) 

Thursday, 5 January 2012