Stylised Monologue

Monday, 10 October 2011


 Hey guys! Missed me? I didn't mean to neglect this dialogue we've got going on (turum pum chum), I just accidentally, despite being warned against it, got stuck in a week-long queue.

Ha... I'm ALL about terrible jokes today always. In other news, I managed to embrace my inner Sophia Loren a lot recently in this floppy hat. Only in the fashion world can the combination of the words floppy and head lead to a Sophia Loren - esque sexy feeling. I feel like maybe I should have censored this sentence out but you know what, for the sake of fashion and terrible jokes I'm going to keep it in. Lets call it necessary self sacrifice in order to prove a point. Fashion is not the real world! (<- That's said point by the way)-(I know, I'm Christopher Columbus the sequel aren't I?).  In the fashion world, floppy is good and clear shoes are in (despite the fact that within about 4 walks to the shop, your overly expensive but beautiful Phillip Lims will transform from clear plastic goodness to steamed up, yellow, hard plastic goodness? your call!

Now, back to my Sophia Loren feeling. Floppy hats are the creme de la creme a la Edgar (Aristocats quoting anyone? No? Just me?) of hats (which interestingly  rhymes with cats...  really shouldn't be blogging today) They are big enough to protect you from the sun or rain or snow or hale (No, I'm not just naming weather conditions, I live in London, the floppy hat may need to protect you from all the above at the same time... ok, except maybe from snow and rain, I think), they are stylish enough to transform a little white top, black denim shorts, gray blazer outfit from snooze to bioootifooool darrrrrling (hello? Sophia Loren accent!!!) and last but not least they can stylishly cover up your hair on a particularly bad hair day (less time consuming and damaging that hair styling products!) Yeah... so basically, I think I've just come up with the conclusion that floppy hats are a lazy fashionista's wet dream (censoring?). They makes you look like you know what you're doing when really you are just wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

Too good to be true? Umm... duh!! Listen, you need to realise that fashion is one big spider web (I totally saw Dakota Fanning on the street yesterday by the way, she's so cute and normal much so that Anthony didn't even check her out haha!!) Herve Leger bandage dresses look great but only when worn over layers of spanx that require very limited lung use. Feather adorned garments are occasionally celebrated by the sartorial know-it-alls of this world but in the cold, harsh light of reality, they mostly make you look like really tall chickens. As long as high heels elongate your legs, your feet will suffer and the list could go on. Yes, ladies and gents, anti climatic moment coming up... The floppy hat, too, has A FLAW (insert music that would accompany a moment of revelation partnered with doom! Oh and a couple of gasps!). In an attempt to keep up with the old Hollywood theme, I'll just say this... Scarlet O'Hara and your hat have one big thing in common. Unfortunately for you though, Gone with the Wind is not going to turn you into a beautiful over acting starlet with a pretty legitimate conviction that tomorrow is another day. No, it will turn you into a ridiculous person walking with your hand on your head holding your hat on for dear life in an attempt to avoid being the even more ridiculous person that has to walk / run back to pick the hat up from the pavement/street. Hey... nobody's perfect!!! (come on, I couldn't go down the old hollywood road and not include a tiny bit of Marilyn/Jack Lemon... His name was Daphne after all!) 

floppy hat : New Look
top: Topshop
blazer : Primark
shorts: River Island
boots: Asos
necklaces: Asos


  1. Welcome back. Hilarious post.
    And you look great in a hat - not everyone does.
    x x x