no rain, no gain.

The best thing about these pictures is what happened 'behind the scenes'. The weather, clearly inspired by my posing, took a dramatic turn and decided to change from sunny to cloudy to rain to Noah within about ten minutes. I wish someone had taken a picture of us walking back home. Both of us looking like we just had a swim and forgotten to take our clothes off, Anthony carrying an old chair over his head and me in (what suddenly became unseasonable) summery clothes and heels in the middle of a muddy field. We must have looked like something out of a circus and/or a really bad sitcom!

top: topshop

dress (worn as skirt): H&M

shoes: topshop via eba

necklace&peacock ring: house of harlow

bracelets: vintage. 

Is it a new post... Is it an old post... IT'S SUPERMAN!!!

Last time, I spoke about snakeskin. You should already know this but if not, just keep on reading after this post, or simply click HERE  (I make things SO easy for you, don't I? It's like I'm your mother bird and you are my chicks... strange, perhaps, analogy but lets roll with it). Now, as you might all know, if you have an active eyesight and even one ounce of taste, no one's better than the animal kingdom when it comes to prints (although Missoni does give mama nature a good run for her money. lets. be. honest!) and as much as I love snakeskin (as I very clearly mentioned in my previous post) it does have ONE rival. And that my friends and loyal readers is none other than THE LEOPARD. Now, as long as I am more human, safely watching leopards through the screen and/or from a distance and less wild antelope, I LOVE them!! 
in fact, the ONLY thing better than a leopard print, is a leopard print on shoes, and the only thing better than leopard print on shoes is leopard print on shoe boots with vertigo inducing heels. Now really, the only thing that could top that would be a massive discount. (Hmmm... well, I guess I just went the long way round, I could have only said "Check my new shoes out, I LOVE THEM" but really, wouldn't that just be boring?!) Ta- daaa

And while we're on the subject of new clothes...
Is it a corset... Is it a jumper... It's SUPERMAN!!!! 
...no, not really, it IS actually a jumper, that looks a bit like a corset too. what an anticlimax, I know, but wait till you see it. 
....
....
....
are you STILL waiting? wow you're good readers! Here you go then:

The guy hanging off my neck is Ferdinando, he's not new, we've liked eachother for a while. 

see? It's love!!

And now, lets go again: Is it a bird... Is it a plane... It's SUPERMAN!!!

nah, it's just me. Wow you really can't catch a break with that one today, can you?!

shoes: Aldo

top: Cheap Monday

Ferdinando: Juicy Cuture

Rings: ASOS

leather leggings: Topshop 

Sssssssnakeskin.

Ok, so, lets put it out there, snakes have a bad rep. They bite, they scare, they wrap around you and squeeze you to death, they are cold blooded, they have weird tongues that humans occasionally imitate, they are just NOT the cuddliest of pets. "Oh I've had enough of my day, I just want to go home, eat ice cream, watch a chick flick and cuddle with my cobra" is, for a reason, not a phrase attached to dishevelled and possibly menstrual women around the world and as much as I try avoiding cliches in my writing, I will acknowledge that they have some truth in them, hence why the above phrase has never caught on. However, as evil and hated as they might be, you can't deny that they are fierce dressers. Snakes are the Kate Moss of the cold blooded world, the Valentino of serpents and unlike their only real competitors in the animal kingdom, the leopard, the snake is a reptile after our own heart and will never be happy enough owning just one garment (hello!shedding of the skin).  

Now, PETA fanatics across the world (ridiculous little story: Anthony at some point convinced me that PETA stands for Pets Emerging Triumphant Again HAHAHAHA I can't believe I fell for it, so stupid!) before you get your buckets of red paint ready to throw at me, let me tell you a)I look nice in red b)I'll never tell you where I live so you'll just walk around London aimlessly c)I don't really do real fur/leather/snakeskin so you really needn't worry. 

 There is a variety of reasons why I love snakeskin so much.Let me showcase a few
 a)It looks awesome

 b) it has the power to turn you into a rock star

 c) it could, trigger interesting Adam and Eve/ religious/ comeonweallreallycomefrommonkeys conversations 

  d) It goes with all types of jewellery

( the simple silver ring, is not actually a ring at all haha! The plumber came over and worked some magic on our broken tap and this is just something he took out of the tap and was going to throw out (yes, my technical plumbing knowledge is nonexistent) )

  e) it inspires all sorts of dramatic posing

 f) and it's not too bad for jumping either (you know me by now, anything that stops me from jumping would be banned!)

trousers: ASOS

top: River Island

Rings: topshop and from my tap (look above for explanation haha!) 

shoes: ASOS 

I will survive...

First I was afraid, I was petrified... 
Come on! yes, you! don't just stare at the screen, sing along, come on, come on, don't pretend you don't know the lyrics, I know you do. I know you've sang it at Karaoke bars and on singstar with your friends.
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side...
I know you've probably drunkenly believed you sound just like Gloria and might have even made up some sort of passionate dance to go with it
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong AND I GREW STRONG
Look, I don't judge, we've all been there. Dumped, sad, in out twenties teenage years, singing it into our hairbrush/toothbrush/anything phallic with the word 'brush' attached to it (hmmm...what else would that list include?) really, trully believing every single lyric, because, hell, I might have not uttered a word in our first 20 dates(due to  what will in the future become the piece de resistence of my ridiculus qualities, my unbelievable awkwardness)but,no,15yearold boyfriend with abnormally fast(or just Greek) hair growth, you should not have dumped me and you were wrong in thinking that by doing so...
....I'd crumbe, did you think I'd lay down and die, oh no, not I, I will survive.

Aaaanyway, before you actually think I have lost my mind let me just tell you, I haven't (I have found an awesome way to keep it in my head, it's called 'having a skull' it's amazing, you should try it) and I'm not going through a break up either. HA! you guessed it all wrong didn't you? In fact the lovely man that is currently being fed too many aubergines by my entire family is sitting right next to me listening to my bad singing (Lies. He is watching football with headphones on plus I am a brilliant singer. 50% of that is true). So what's with all the break up songs, you ask! Well, lets be honest, you probably didn't ask but, listen, I have to be creative here, lets pretend you asked, or even better lets Dora The Explorer the shit out of this blog and actually repeat after me : WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BREAK UP SONGS?
You: *repeating*
Me: Oh, wow, well, since you're asking, I'll tell you. My focus is not on the heartache caused by someone dumping ME. See, I did the dumping!!! HA! twist!! I'm going all inception/shutter island (anything Leonardo DiCaprio-esque that has a twist) on your arse! 
Nah, not really, I mean, it might have seemed like I dumped you, but really it was just a missundersanding!! I was just unable to reach the magical world of the internet. But now
I'm back, from Outer space (called Skyros, beautiful island, visit it!)
Look, you had your chance,
You could have changed that stupid lock, you could have made me leave your keys (or, in our case, keyboards) etc..

and so, now, you're stuck with me (metaphorically, always, it's not like I have finally found a way to spray glue through the computer screens and onto you, my lovely readers, getting you, that way, to stare at my blog all day long. (By the way, are you bloglovin me yet?!) You CAN (although, inadvisable) click away if you don't want to look at poses like this:

or, if you can't stand the view of myself stretching out my garments (although, those trousers just shout 'stretch meeeeeeeeee'. No, seriously, they do. It's creepy)

worst of all, I don't even know where all those clothes come from because I just found them, so I'll call them 'vintage' (they're old, they were lying around in my house, vintage is accurate, stop arguing with me!)

Hey, all joking aside, I know how to satisfy my audience. So, here it is... (drumroll) the moment you've ALL been waiting for... (more drumroll) THE JUMPING PICTURE

*loud clapping noises*


Thank you, Thank you!!

trousers: you've not read the text have you?

shirt: no, really, go back and read

earrings: nah don't worry, reading will hurt your eyes, 

shoes: come on, at LEAST look at the pictures