MERRY BIRTHDAY

So, I don't know if you've noticed but Christmas is kind of around the corner. Yep, it's shit at hiding that Christmas, everything has been fairy light adorned and alcoholic raindeer dominated for approximately a month now. way to kill the christmas spirit, by the way, retail people!!!. We all know what christmas consists of. You put up a tree, receive a lot of presents(mostly things you don't care for),give a lot of presents(mostly things they don't care for),sing christmas carols door to door in exchange for money(if you're greek/in greece and under the age of approx.13),have christmas carols sang at you by overage(13+)tone deaf people, the silence of whom you buy with money, yes everyone is happy, everyone is excited, father christmas is given a little cameo part in the film that is your life and everyone gives out wishes to everyone. Everyone is celebrating. You know this, I know this... now!! Rewind back 24 years, however, and I was an oblivious, fat foetus lodging south of my mums lungs. Admittedly, I was a little hefty for my 7 months of life, you've seen One Born Every Minute, preemies do not typically weight nearly 4kg. Anyway, I don't know what got to me. Maybe it was all the holiday cheer maybe my mum watched one too many horror films whilst pregnant, by the 24th of December, generally known as Christmas Eve, I decided I wanted out. Bad Life Desicion NUMBER ONE!!! My transition form foetus to newborn was(as described to me, not from memory)easy, breezy, beautiful (minus the beautiful, I'm not exaggerating when I say I was the uggliest newborn in existence, maybe second to those ugly monkeys that look like their mum had a little fling with a bat). So, here I was, December 24th 1987 weighing more than most full term newborns. Mum was happy, Dad was happy, Aunts and Uncles were happy and Grandmother was slightly less happy because she thought I was blind. It was just a misunderstanding, it was 8:15 in the morning and they all wanted to socialize, I mean come on, I've been in the dark for 7 months leave me alone!(is what I assume I must have thought but can't tell for sure)! When I eventually opened my eyes, all fat cheecks and curly hair, I realised that being born was pretty cool. People looked festive, they were celebrating and singing and giving me presents. I'm sure I thought that that was all pretty awesome, well, at least until I went all yellow and had to be put under weird lamps for hours. The thing is, I was a happy, self important new person. I was probably equally as happy on my first birthday. I got some present, I got some christmassy harmonies and some santa guy was meant to come over but I don't think he actually did. Well, the years passed and I started having a bit of an understanding. Wait a second... the world isn't celebrating me, they're celebrating the birth of some Jesus person. What the Hell? It sucks!

Oh... what? this is a fashion blog? Yeah? So? Christmas is very IN at the moment ... DUHH!! Fine, fine, fine, I'll get to the fashion bit of all this.

After YEARSSS of ONE present for both my birthday and christmas, sharing my special day with the rest of the world, running like a loonatic to get OTHER people presents on my birthday(ok that might just be bad time management) I decided to embrace it.

Dear Me,

It's your birthday soon. So I got you a present.
And it's the best present EVER. Because it's blue and it's velvet and it goes on your feet.
(caution, it might make you fall over and take a bald middleaged guy and his annoyed girlfriend with you but...oh well!) 

MERRY BIRTHDAY!!

shoes : topshop

The stylish guide to feeling poor but loved

Listen, I know I have been fairly absent lately but to be honest, I couldn't really bring myself to blog about clothes with everything kicking off back home. I'd sit in front of my computer, log onto blogger, write a couple of words, log onto facebook, look at my news feed full of new aggravated statuses, click onto forums, news sites, ring my parents, hear more and more worrying stuff, go back to blogger and log off, completely unable to write about clothes and fashion and jokes. Then I thought about it a bit longer and realized that what I have always tried to do, is use this blog as a tool for entertainment. Yes, I showcase clothes, but if you've taken a moment to read the writing, you'll see that usually the clothes serve as a conversation stimulator. I have, despite being employed and in London, never been rich enough to afford splashing out on ACNE shoes and DANNIJO jewellery at any given moment (don't get me wrong, If I could, I would! I just can't ...yet!). So, I thought about it a bit more and I met people who told me they read my blog and it made them laugh and although I found it (amazing) bizarre that people knew me, I was reminded that what I do best is laugh through an awkward situation and a sad one too. So, the same way my friend Natasha and I laughed (and cried, but mostly laughed) in the end of 2008 over simultaneously having been dumped, the same way we'll laugh (and worry, but also laugh) in the end of 2011 when our whole country seems to be on the edge of being dumped. (INSIDE JOKE ALERT: Nat, we laughed with Οι χωρισμένοι δεν γιορτάζουνε ποτέ. We'll laugh with Οι χωρίςmoney δεν γιορτάζουνε ποτέ). What everyone says, and although cliche, I think they're right, is that when you're going through tough times, the thing that matters the most is the people you're surrounding yourself with and the memories you create with them. I recently spent £2.60 on a trip to IKEA with the wonderful Anthony Hett and let me tell you, it wasn't just fun but also fashion bargain filled.

The stylish guide to feeling poor but loved. 

First and foremost, in order to enjoy this post, I believe you should be listening to THIS:

(I mean, come on! Money related, in Greece by a Swedish band... I wonder if its destiny has always been to accompany this post?!) OK? Lets go.

• If you've done your fashion research, you'll know well how important HATS are to budding fashionistas. I mean, they're great! They cover your bad hair days, they look stylish, they add a certain je ne sais quoi to every look. All Bloggers love their head accessories, take a look at Garance Dore's hat story, as well as the beautiful Nadia's of State of Grace and well... mine too. I know, I know, we can't all afford Gucci and often we can't even afford New Look or Topshop. That's what I'm here for. In this imaginary collaboration that I am creatively going to name Stylised Dialogue x IKEA, we have come up with the perfect HAT solution. The plant pot! Ta-daaaa! 

Why is this so brilliant? Well, for one, it undoubtedly looks good. Also, it can be worn as shown above, resembling a Fez (kind of un-pc thematic, what with Greece being the epicentre of this post and you know, people associating Greece with Turkey due to past beef) or it can be worn upside down and given the right amount of seeds, dirt, water and whatever other gardening essentials, you can pretty much have a masterpiece a la Sarah Jessica Parker circa: Sex and the City 1 (yes, I have a picture, I do everything for you). Problem solved, once again, you're welcome!

• Numero DUO in the fashion trends front. FUR. Love it or hate it, it's all around us, decorating the necklines of all the nicest coats of the season. Have a look at Topshop alone: Here , Here and my personal favourite and possible kidney selling reason Here. What do you do, if you don't have £100 and/ or two healthy kidneys? Well... Stylised Dialogue x IKEA comes to the rescue once again. VOILA: 

The resemblance is uncanny, no? Only difference is, that with the two puppies around the £1.20 price mark, you can now, not starve to death! YOU'RE WELCOME!

• In a non - fashion related note. (Stylised Dialogue x IKEA is not ONLY for fashionistas, it's for poor people in general) Are you a nature lover? Do you get a kick out of climbing the highest mountains and resting on the peaks? Do heights give you a pleasant adrenaline rush? You're WEIRD You're in LUCK! You might not be able to afford the real mountain holiday deal but who cares when you have a variety of lovely shelves to climb onto? 

As for the wild life aspect? YES, THAT'S RIGHT! We've sorted that TOO!! 

(Open to your own interpretation, but it WAS meant to be an owl) 

• Last but not least, TRANSPORTATION. Buses are expensive, the tube is insane, trains are often taking the piss as are planes and have you seen the prices of petrol these days? Boats and ferries take for.ever and bikes are dangerous. Stylised Dialogue x IKEA has the answer yet again. THE TROLLEY!!!!

(This photo is the financial crisis equivalent to a hot chick in a bikini in the middle of a californian highway on the bonnet of a big, shiny old american car). 

I can hear you car obsessed cynics, disagreeing with this vehicle and screaming silently 'But, HOW SLOW would that go!!!!' Unbelievable! People are just never happy with anything these days. You guys make me so angry that you're forcing me to abandon my writing beliefs and jump onto the cliche bandwagon that keeps saying that a photo is a thousand words. THIS is how fast a trolley goes: 

Can you even see me? NO! I'm going at the speed of light!!! THERE!! 

So there you go! Everything you ever need in under a fiver! Accessories, excursions, vehicles and great memories of a good time. 

For the last time today, keep your chin up and YOU'RE WELCOME! x

LOVE LANE

...If I was Ricky Gervais, I'd sent Karl Pilkington to see you!!

I LOVE YOU. Happy Anniversary!

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

THE STYLISH GUIDE TO DATING

Dates. Not the shriveled up fruit kind... no, no! I'm talking about the awkward encounter with a possible future paramour during which you are basically grilling and getting grilled in an attempt to test and impress. They are a pain in the arse aren't they? I have, in the past, experienced the creme de la creme of bad ones. I've gone on a date with someone who cried because and I quote 'I am so happy you agreed to go on a date with me, be my girlfriend', also with someone who purred like a kitten, called himself a kitten and then told me he almost loved me after about 4.5 hours spent together. A different guy, didn't cancel a date despite the fact that he was ill with a really high temperature and therefore spent the majority of the date hallucinating (in fact, this hallucination business has semi happened more than once but I think that was more of a misunderstanding turned into a joke, illness was included in that one too). Whilst we're still on the illness category, I had one guy literally leave the table of a Starbucks every two minutes cos he desperately needed the loo whilst, of course, not sparing details on what he did there. (This specific one... I liked him, so I was actually more annoyed that he didn't pay for my coffee). In the toilet humour category, a certain long winded on and off fling with a foreign guy ended when, in a distraught state over various relationship matters, he lost control of both his tear ducts and bowel simultaneously. It was a beautiful moment...
Look, I'm not saying that all erratic behaviour is bad. At pretty much the same time, a few years ago, I dated two people. One gave me flowers and took me to an expensive restaurant where we proceeded to have a candle lit dinner and the other took me to a gig he was originally meant to be attending with his ex and then proceeded to pick my nose. The latter one has been my boyfriend ever since.
But anyway, what I am getting at is, whether a date is good or bad, the what am I supposed to wear is an ever present question. That's what I'm here for.

The guide to stylish first date attire

by

Bay Leaf Economou

Firstly, when asked out on a date (or when you have initiated the date yourself, I'm all for feminism! well the theoretical, wax allowing, bra wearing, being asked out kind of feminism anyway) remember! Not everything that glitters is gold. The kitten had a beard and a bike and looked extremely bad ass when I first met him and the one that cried of happiness was the lead singer of a band and he wore a hat and he had a bum chin. So, yeah. On a first date, you should keep that in mind and therefore put on something that you can hide under. Ladies and Gents, I hereby introduce you to ..... The Poncho! 

It's not only stylish in a Florence and the Machine (as dubbed by my gay friend, Darren) meets Mexican man (as dubbed by my straight friends) meets Pocahontas (as dubbed by my boyfriend who, as you can see, is still making up for our first date nose picking!) kind of way, it is also an excellent hiding space if said date turns out to be terrible (or even just bad, this poncho will not disappoint). Imagine this, after half an hour of small talk about the latest sports car he likes, accompanied with picture showing from the sports car magazine that he brought with him to the date (another real story), he will eventually have to go to the loo. Now, as you can never tell how long it'll take (well, unless he tells you! which as I mentioned, happens) running out might not work out for you. Hiding in your garment is a far better option and this poncho is very roomy.

Tassels are good in general, on first dates. They are conversation simulators, they can be used to distract your date from imperfections on your face (you know, just move your hands a lot when you talk, in front of your face) and, if the date goes well, you can pretend to be a lazy jellyfish about to fall in love a la Ella Fitzerald (click on it to get the whole picture, duh!). Honestly, no other garment will do for this impression which is crucial to take place at the end of a successful date. Trust me, the man won't freak out and leave. Well ok, he might! Fine, he probably will. But if he does, you didn't really want to be with him in the first place! And, since you're probably still listening to the song (oh, you're not? That's ok, I'll wait till you do.) pause ... elongated pause. (ready? cool, we can continue now) This whole tassel situation is also pretty good for any 1920's shenanigans. By which I mean... you can, like, dance the Charleston and stuff. Another must for first dates. I mean, what would you guys do without me!! 

And whilst we're still on a time machine. Stop that song. Now, click on this ! Yeah, ok? we're on board? Right, lets move onto the 70s. Yes, my flower children. If your object of carnal attraction and potential intellectual interest is a laid back, floaty, beardy kind of a dude, then you've done it again! Poncho, tassels, the necessary ethnic jewellery and you're done! Have a happy, trippy life and don't forget to name your firstborn Bay Leaf! (it's not much to ask, you are hippies after all).

Now, when it comes to accessories. Yes, ethnic jewellery is your second skin by now, in a more stylish wolverine (the Xmen kind) sort of way. But what about a bag? clutch? satchel. ALL IN ONE? What? YES! ta-daaaaaa! Take your brother's/father's/ex-boyfriend's/current-boyfriend's-you're-about-to-cheat-on satchel, get rid of the straps and... hold it! Like an oversized, oversized clutch (I mean an oversized clutch that is oversized, do you get it? it's not just bad grammar, I promise!). Now, this clutch has a lot of benefits. It's spacious enough for you to carry magazines, ipads, a book, some crayons, your littlest friend with you to the date. It might get boring and those things might entertain you. It's also good for hiding leftovers, bread rolls, nice cutlery (no, wait, that's stealing. I don't condone stealing but if you do do it, in which case it's not my fault and I don't want to know about it, but you can store the stolen goods in this satchel turned clutch). And finaly, if the date is particularly bad, you can put it over your head and pretend you've disappeared. This might sound crazy but if you think about it, it only half is. If the date buys it, well then he'll leave you alone, as, you know, he'll think you're not there anymore. If the date doesn't buy it (which is, I won't lie, the likelihood) then he'll think you're absolutely nuts and will most likely leave you alone. It's a win- win situation! 

Victory dance Ladies and Gents (copy the movement above, go on, do it)! Finally, the solution to what to wear on a first date has been found!!!

*insert applause*

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oh no, really I don't deserve your applause, thank you, thank you!

*more applause*

haha, omg, wow! 

oh, oh! I almost forgot, there is one thing you need to do regardless of how the date progresses. Of course, the poncho is great for this little activity too! Come on, listen to this to get in the mood! 

(I could enter the words on him after this picture but because it depends on the degree of feminism and/ or your date, I'll just keep these brackets.) 

poncho: zara / shoes: gap / jewellery: vintage